I have been swept awash in the past, with fear, hurt, rage and grief,
Many were never reconciled with, I dwelt on them but brief.
I pushed them deep in the recesses, of my unconscious mind,
They surface now and then in new contexts, how to suppress I'm in a bind.
Healing feels like a loss of self. what I'm sans my patterns and quirks,
When I start doubting who I really am, re-opening the wound works.
This accumulated energy is painful though, it holds a sway on me,
Will continue to dictate my reactions, till what it is I learn to see.
When I'm once more sad and angry, it's rarely about the issue or you,
It's old pain asserting its right to exist, not bound by what's in the moment true.
If I were to lessen its hold on me, I've to deal with the long-lost stuff,
Be aware of and accept what I'm feeling now, the pain of memories old and rough.
The trauma that once kept me captive, if I process can set me free,
Each trigger is an opportunity to be in the now, and change what I'm unfolding to be.