Time to Don Another Mask?

Living against the backdrop, of my own autobiography,

I tried to fit the labels - that I did science and philosophy.

A persona carefully crafted, the mask melted into the face,

The true self, if there was any, disappeared in the haze. 

 

Disfigured and dismembered, it grew ugly and bland,

No matter the clothes I donned, to look majestic and grand.

Sometimes a poet, a programmer, someone passionate about psych,

I had to justify my existence and catch your eyes, make sure you notice and like. 

 

When I started I was OK, to be exposed and without a mask,

To be a good human being, was my only wish and life task.

Over time reality dawned, that there were missing beacons in the night,

That the mask comes along with the cape, is something I no longer fight.

 

In trying to mold to your demands and needs, I've lost myself bit by bit,

I can still try to be a good human being, but that persona my face may no longer fit.

The Great Gambler

We are all enamored by the IPO's, and the million dollar exit,

At some level we understand its luck, and not all a result of grit.

But the 9 out of 10 that fold up, and in shame and disgrace go bankrupt,

They don't come to mind that easily, when you decide to launch a start-up.  

 

Everyone around you is a founder, building left and right,

How can you be left behind, and in a job keep sitting tight?

The stakes are high, and rest assured, you won't get a regular pay,

But whenever you'll get a client or funding, you'll be on seventh sky for the day.

 

You've invested a lot already, money, time, yourself,

To think of quitting after all this, is a betrayal in itself.

What are you if not a founder, you take risks, you gamble it all,

Even if your venture is just limping along, you start again, after the fall. 

 

I can name all the biases and heuristics, that compel me to again and again start,

That may be the way the gambler's mind works, but I'll master the winning jackpot art.

Taming the Shrew

Wild like the forest, I tempt you with my nerve,

The river within overflows, with joie de vivre.

My heedlessness unsettles you, mocks you no end,

You *have* to domesticate me, to your will bend.

 

Nourishing like the field, I satisfy your whim,

Like a canal I'm straightened, and become bound to him.

The one who plows and injures, reaps the reward,

Until I become barren, and he can no longer afford.

 

Desolate like the fallow land, I'm all but ignored,

The stream has dried up, maybe he has become bored.

I'll bear fruit again, just give me some time and space,

Let my wilderness seep out, I'll become fertile by God's grace.

 

No one has asked me, what *I* want to be,

Label me all you want, I just want to be free. 

Fighting a Crisis

A crisis is brewing, I'll rise to the occasion,

I'm getting dehydrated, sapped of my passion.

Will I magically overcome, when the crisis becomes real,

Have I trained enough for this day? Were my priorities clear?

They say to live in the present, is what we human beings are meant,

The past and future will remain, but the moment will soon be spent.

I have instead found it wise, to prepare diligently for the future,

So when the crisis is finally upon you, you don't end up being a loser.

If you want to emerge stronger, better prepare well in advance,

Or you might not even survive, so don't goof up and take a chance.  

It's in peacetime that you can prepare, not when surrounded in wartime,

To enjoy the present, and not sweat, is to bleed when fighting, and a crime.

I have a long time seen it coming, and now this crisis I've finally hit,

My training has prepared me, not to flail, but in the moment sit.

The Three Metamorphoses

I carry the weight, of tradition on my back,

I must obey the rules, the freedom to explore I lack.

I'm a camel providing stability, like the solid tree,

I defer without questioning, to the powers that be.

In time, I rebel, question every 'thou shalt ',

In the flame of my defiance, I myself melt.

I'm a lion roaring, I will turn to ashes if need be,

I bring down the structures, but struggle to be truly free.

I play with the ashes, mix the soil nearby,

Create new forms and rules, to the past say bye.

I'm a child beginning anew, there's innocence in my stride,

Like a phoenix, I keep rising, from freedom I don't hide.

I've grown through the stages, I know what being free is like,

I both accept and create my fate, can be the wise old man or childlike.

Invoking the Muse

Go ahead, read that book, connect the dots,

Unleash the inner vulture, feast on the thoughts.

There's nothing original, just regurgitated rot,

To repackage old wisdom, is the human lot.

You can summon the muse, at your will and behest,

You take great pride in your craft, you are the absolute best.

A creator par excellence, you lean on others' shoulders,

A David sculpting himself, you chip off on their boulders.

One day, what happens, when their ideas don't appeal,

Do you suddenly realize, you are human and can feel?

You don't need to synthesize, just pour what's in your heart,

The poem may turn out empty, but you'd rediscover your art.

Enough of hiding behind sonnets, written as a reaction to others' views,

Let emotions ooze down as ink, filling the page, and your life, with blues.

Down, and Almost Out

Relationships get tangled, the web crumbles down,

Caught in the cross-hairs, you're fearing a meltdown.

You are struggling to escape, freedom comes at a price,

By severing the suffocating ties, you are no longer 'cool' or 'nice'.

The heart gets wounded, there's blood all around,

The Shylock hasn't forgotten, he's out for his pound.

You carve a piece of yourself, try to settle the debt,

Wrap a bandage around the emptiness, a secret well kept.

The spirit gets broken, the whole universe looks strange,

What was once within arm's grasp, is now out of range.

You crawl, you scramble, the world simply doesn't heed,

The one mocking from afar- to let go is what you need.

When you're pinned down and out of breath, it's OK to concede defeat,

There's glory in being Knocked Out, but wisdom in getting back on feet.