The Fool's Quest

The last link (persona non-grata part 2)

2011-06-21T05:38:00.000-07:00

Image via Wikipedia
you can get rid of triggers, can the memories themselves be shelved?
you can turn a heart to stone, what about the emotions that once swelled?
you can destroy the cage where the bird once dwelt; or erase the songs that were taped;
you can destroy all evidence, break free from chains, but isn't it the striving that's really caged?

you may deny from yourself, you may sincerely believe,
what happened in the past was a big make-believe,
but what is happening now, is just act 1, part 2,
was the deception not enough that we have to now make-do?

and pretend that our paths never crossed in this life,
after all nothings more precious - that being a man and wife;
and that we couldn't be, so let the friendship be damned,
even a past crossing of paths has to be erased and banned?

unfriending is oh so cool, I hope you've thought through
Twitter and Facebook was fine, but LinkedIn too?

Persona non grata

2011-02-07T11:52:00.000-08:00

The more I pine to catch your glimpse, the more you tighten your veil and 'guise;
you taunt so well, keep me on toes, I'm almost kneeling and pleading, guys,
just a brief encounter, a smile- a frown- an indication that I do exist, I count,
at least derision, if not love, on my frantic antics - to be a clown -

and somehow catch your eyes for once,and kindle memories of days gone by;
you didn't always run from me, nor hide, nor leave me high and dry;
we kept each other hooked and charmed, and now we don't even talk any more,
what happened, where did I err, what caused the friendship to go sore?

why do I have to scheme for now, to catch you off guard, sneak a peek,
let me have one long lasting look, then you can vanish - that's all I seek.
neither photos, nor images, I promise to erase the memories of that eternal sunshine;
just tell me once, was that my crime- that forbidden dream- that I can make you mine?

No trials, no hearings, no criminal data, yet prosecuted under ad hoc TADA,
No formal goodbyes, no hesitating tata; silently made persona non grata.

The year that flew by

2011-01-03T02:45:00.000-08:00

Image via Wikipedia

A new year has dawned, and a year since we were 'free'
I thought I'll get over, but I miss you, you see,
I know that birds don't talk, nor listen to heart's cry,
I didn't believe in sweet talk, I didn't even said good bye,

Engrossed with science and reason, I rationalized my cage,
a price for warmth and safety, as opposed to the vast inhuman space,
and yet its funny how I never talked to you, just listened to your songs,
my warmth was limited to the cage, not to the bird that was wronged.

yet the things are not the same, once you flew from the cage,
now I talk to the cage and the bird that once was,
and when the cage doesn't sing back, I get into a rage,
not on the cage, or the bird , but on the man that I once was.

I dream of talking cages or of being caged myself;
I want to talk with a bird for once, cant you help?

If You Love Someone...

2010-04-16T03:15:00.000-07:00

Image via Wikipedia

A diversion from The Fools Quest. What follows are two sonnets written today on 'setting someone free':-). Would love comments, especially as to whether you are OK with this blog being used for other sonnets too, or should it just document the Fools quest. Also, some general comments about how and at what pace the fools quest is progressing would be very much appreciated. do make the process more interactive and do leave some comments.

If you love someone, set her free,
if she flies away quick, it was never meant to be,
if she lingers and hesitates, it is for old times sake,
the sky calls her, but she just cant stand and take
the hurt of leaving behind, you so lonely and forlorn
if she stays its not for love, but for pity that's born.
you must tease her apart, I know its not easy on heart,
to be happy when one is leaving, its no science, its an art,
Of course she will forget you, or at least the pain will be dulled,
With the sky at her feet, she'll be happy, she'll be lulled,
into thinking that the cage was too steep a price to pay,
and that vastness of the sky is a reason enough to sway
from singing her heart out, you know why the caged bird sings?
Its not the sky out there, just the memories it brings.

Its not in present one lives, its in either future or past,
one ignores the warmth of cage, for the sky that is cold and vast,
If she comes back its not because she was always yours,
its because of what she misses, perhaps your love that was pure,
but can we be sure the feelings have not changed since then,
Perhaps what she misses is the cage, not the cage-man,
Imagine the horror, if she were to return to the cage,
but not of yours, someone else's, oh you are so filled with rage!
how can she be so insensitive, or did she do it on purpose,
shes returning to the safety of a cage- so what the fuss?
Did you want to keep her caged, for her good or yours?
does the cage serve her, or is that a ploy to keep you bound?
She understands why you let her out, for you to be free,
If she doesn't come back, it was meant to be.

The Fool - X

2009-12-31T23:40:00.000-08:00

This is a poem spread across multiple pages. Please read in order. Please click on links below to read the earlier passages from the poem.

The Fool - I.
The Fool - II.
The Fool - III.
The Fool - IV.
The Fool - V.
The Fool - VI.
The Fool - VII.
The Fool - VIII.
The Fool - IX.

But before the grail and the amrut that flows,
From the sagar-manthan, first the venom flows,
And it is the fate of the fool to drink his hemlock,
and save the amrut for the rest of men folk,
to this end , the fool must be prepared to die,
and joyfully embrace his cross- or learn to fly
and get resurrected and crowned the son of god,
just to return for a moment after three days long
but there is another way out, the way of Shiva,
of drinking, but not feasting, behold the dancing diva,
as he stops the venom midway not letting go beyond the throat,
by drinking and not drinking one can rock the boat,
Oh fool get ready, the venom flows your way neelkanth,
Either you become the hunted or you better join the hunt.

The hunt for the grail, for the magical elixir of life,
The quest that will put an end to all war and strife,
If its poison that’s served first, let’s just prepare for it,
If it’s a fall that kills, let’s just be done with it,
Maybe in the next life, when one is born again,
As the venom is now exhausted, only the grail will remain,
And one would either suffer from a disabling fear of heights,
And never get involved in the quest, spared the blighting lights
of having to take the first step, as one could never climb the hill,
always afraid of breaking the crown, and of a tumbling Jill,
Jack may not be afraid of his life or of the height,
But to picture Jill tumbling in the dark night,
After him is too much even a Fool is willing to stake,
He must do it in this life, and in this step.

For a future that is set in the aftermath of this life
Might be venom free or quest free, but is always rife,
With the possibility that in this life the example he sets,
Is enough to lead to misery, to unpaid karmic debts,
He may think that by dying and escaping from the quest,
And by returning later, rejuvenated after the rest,
He may still be able to end in many lives,
What he couldn’t achieve in single dives
In this life, but remember he is not alone in his quest,
There are lurking damsels, Knights, and its best
To leave out Jill, we’ve already hinted at her,
If he succeeds the fall, with Jill we need not bother,
But thinking of failure the fools heart pales,
What if she attempts precisely because he fails?

Jill is secure, and if not for anything but his miss,
To keep her away from the grails grim business,
The fool has to take that first step now,
And survive despite all odds, holy cow,
There are no rooms for blunder, no next lives to boot,
No other knights one can depend on, they are in for the loot,
He is in for love and for peace and the King,
And for the sacred pearl on his magical ring.
He has to survive the fall, he cannot hope to die
But he’ll live the fall is an atrocious lie
That he is telling himself, he’s deluded to the core,
about the power of true love, about the legends of yore,
he thinks he’ll either fly and give the earth below a miss,
or even if dead, be resurrected by a True Love’s kiss.

Oh fool, to put on stake one’s life for an enchanted Princess,
That might not be real, but mythical, ignoring the devouring abyss
That is more than real and would prove so with the next step he takes,
And the hurt would be real, no matter how good he fakes,
But with one in Love, how can one argue,
His logic is convoluted, only motives seems true,
His motive to spare Jill of the horrors of quest,
Ring somewhat true- as compared to the rest
Of the confabulation he has concocted-if he ever sprang one-
A coherent narrative of why he’s to join and run,
In this quest that is so alien to him – this mad rat race,
The fool is the kind, who likes to work at his own pace,
But the quest is ugly, although the grail might be good,
His motive’s now in the open, no longer under the hood!

It was for Love he’ll take that first step, and for Love the last,
And with Love by his side he will cover the vast,
Journey of a thousand steps, although with each new stop,
Love may change its form; as it has now on the top
Of a hill, the Love he feels now is of a different kind,
More of heart and soul, than can be fathomed by mind,
To the mind, Love should be the same, the same damsel every time,
But to the Knight exemplar, each damsel in its own right,
Is the true Love of the moment, the Love for the mankind itself,
Symbolized by the momentary sparkle between a damsel and self,
Oh Loves true glory, But we’ve digressed a lot,
Let Jill stay hidden, let’s return to the plot
If the story has to move the Fool has to jump,
Or if he is unwilling, let us the fool dump.

The Fool - IX

2008-12-03T23:54:00.000-08:00

This is a poem spread across multiple pages. Please read in order. Please click on links below to read the earlier passages from the poem.

The Fool - I.
The Fool - II.
The Fool - III.
The Fool - IV.
The Fool - V.
The Fool - VI.
The Fool - VII.
The Fool - VIII.

For reasons are a fiction, only feelings are real,
His step may be mundane, but the motives are surreal,
One has to get into his skin if one wants to answer why
He is taking that first step, is prepared to die
For a cause that is not defined, apart from an elusive grail
For a journey that is not his, he has just heard in a tale
About the quest and how it is his duty to the king
To get involved in the quest and to him the grail bring.
About the war that is ongoing and the fight for the prize
About a world beyond his home- that is big in size
And for whose people he solemnly pledges his life
So what does he really feel- the speculations are rife
Is it just gay abandon, a feeling of adventure- an adrenalin rush
Or is it an excitement of the unknown- the attraction of a novel crush.

Is it a feeling of compulsion, one driven by a sense of duty
Or is it the sense of commitment, towards truth, towards beauty
Or is it a feeling of ennui- a desire to rock the boat
Or is it an itch to travel and explore – to continuously hit the road
Is it an existential angst – a need to create meaning where there’s none,
Or is it just to express oneself fully – being what one can become
Or is it a disgust with the world as it is, about those who are running the quest
Or is it a rage that is burning within – about a precious life that one may waste
Is it a contempt towards others- the insignificance of the common lot
Or is it a greed of coveting the best- the grail, the prize, the golden pot
Or is it an anguish in one’s past – that one intends to forget and put behind
Or is it a lone fond memory- and that glorious past one wants to rewind
Is it just naivety and foolishness, the lightheartedness of the clown
Or is it a determined bravery, as one puts ones foot down.

Be it the first step, that can take his life
Or the journey ahead, that is filled with strife
Both require extreme courage and an inability to think
Just to feel the need of hour and jump in a wink
Into a valley that is deep- into a journey without an end
In situations like this only the Fool is god send
The wise men may forever reflect on the right step to take
And even after coming to conclusion, the courage lack
Only a fool that is naïve and bold in equal degree
Can listen and act on the hour’s decree
And respond to a call that is heeded by none
That is dangerous, foolish and scorned by some
To end the fight for grail is the Fools Fate
Not a moment can be wasted, better Late than late.

What he is thinking of now, is not his chances of win,
Of his strategy, his tactics as he gets involved in this war grim
Of the glory or derision that await at the end of this night
Of the grail, or the king, or the crowning as a Knight
He is not thinking of victory, he is not thinking of defeat
He is just thinking of the example that would be set by his feat
If he survives the fall, more will take that first step
If he covers a half mile, more will join the quest
Alone he may not be able to reach the grail,
But with millions following suit, on can never fail
Someone else might get the grail, but we will be done with it
No more fighting over trifles, no more war – we’ll move beyond it
So as he takes that first step, its not with joy or despair,
Its with courage, humility and a heart in prayer.

Praying for surviving – not for winning the quest
Surviving from the fall, surviving from the rest
Of the arduous journey that is bound to wear him down
Change him in ways unforeseen, change more than his town
Make him a different man- whether better is for the future to say
But he prays for his soul- for his integrity if you may
That it comes unscathed even after the fall
To jump and to remain same is an order tall
He’ll surely change in subtle ways,
If not a broken arm, then bruises and sprains,
Even after some parts of him are left behind
He prays for courage to continue the grind
And keep on moving towards the grail
Only by going the last mile- he will not fail

For a million mutinies will flower then
All joining the quest with kith and ken
And with determined and courageous steps
Cover the journey of a million stops
Each passing the baton to the other down the line
What one couldn’t achieve- can now be achieved fine
If one were to be given proof, that the grail is not a myth
The quest not a tale, but the actual journey which
Many have tried and some have reached thus far
Others would join and put an end to the war
Its the grail that is never-ending, it could satisfy all thrust,
And for years we thought that what was never ending was the quest
We though the fighting inevitable, the grail beyond reach
But if someone could prove otherwise, it could teach

A lesson to us, that it’s Peace and Love we really desire
If courage and purity are there, even a fool can inspire
And though he may not get the grail, he would have shown the way
He may have died on that first step, but he showed the sway
Over where the winds were blowing and we could then all fly
Like the fool we might not be triumphant- but we could at least try
And when millions try to fly by jumping from the cliff,
Even the winds will have to change least the gods become stiff
And when we ride the winds then we’ll have mastered the fall
Each on his quest – but not alone- not isolated – not feeling small
But embedded in the world with bonds of love and care,
How can winds try to kill – how will they dare
To break our wills when we stand by the others side
We can then jump from cliffs, or stand firm in the tides.

But alas that revolution is still to come
Till all join the quest it’s left to some
To give their all to the fight that’s being fought
And end the fight once and all – that is what they sought
Each of the knights on this holy Quest
Is fuelled by a desire to do his best
And reach the grail soon, to put an end to war
And share with the king, share the power
And then share with the common man-
The grail has enough – no exclusions no ban
Let everyone drink from it, Let everyone rejoice
The fighting has to end- we have no choice
So join the knights you Fool and get involved
It’s not for war, but for peace we have evolved

The Fool- VIII

2008-12-02T05:13:00.000-08:00

This is a poem spread across multiple pages. Please read in order. Please click on links below to read the earlier passages from the poem.

The Fool - I.
The Fool - II.
The Fool - III.
The Fool - IV.
The Fool - V.
The Fool - VI.
The Fool - VII.

But peace is what drives him- propels him towards his quest;
Only after the fighting is over, can he rightfully rest,
This fight is a curse- a personal cross he has to bear,
Only after it ends and there is no fear,
In the minds of anyone, can one talk about the grail,
Before ending the war, one cannot move the tale
The fight is not for the grail, the war is not about power,
It is not about the future- it’s the need of the hour,
Whether one lives in terror, and succumbs to hate,
Or whether one lights a candle for love – even if a bit late
Whether one fights for what is right, whether one fights with all might
Whether one can burn like a beacon in the stormy night
And by the morning might be finished, but would have made it bearable,
Offered a ray of hope in the darkness- and turned the table.

Over those who thought that hate would win over love,
Ravens and vultures would win over flowers and dove,
That one would forget about the grail, about quests of peacetime
And only indulge in war mongering – commit the shocking crime
Of not caring about the means of how to achieve the noble end
Of living in peace – but only concerned with the trend
Of rising terror and how that can be cured by a war
By eliminating the enemy how one can open the door
To a peace that lasts – as the enemy is now gone
But is the enemy some persons – or a single lone
Greedy and hateful individual- or is it more the case
That greed and hate that can find a place
In anyone’s heart and lead to a war within,
Or will one worry about the means – through thick and thin.

And only target the hate and greed that burns within,
Not a person or a group, but the culture that tries to win
At any cost- for whom winning is everything
And ones group is supreme-and the supreme king
Who wins the grail has to be from ones group
And to reach this end one can to any level stoop
It is this ideology of winning, of greed and hate
That needs to be countered- that is the Fools fate
He first needs to fight those driven by hate and greed,
The grail is not important for now- this hour’s need
Is to establish the parameters on which this quest would be run
Whether it would be love that drives him forward – or is it some
Secret Hatred and greed that makes him embrace his cross
If he doesn’t win the battle within – it would be an immense loss.

For he may end up winning the grail,
But in his mission he would surely fail,
Without love as his only weapon he would disgrace the cause,
The quest is not about the grail- he needs to pause
and think once and for all his priorities in life-
is it winning the grail, glorifying the quest , or a duty to his wife
is it to prevent wars and strife and to usher in a peace that would last,
or is it to open the heart of people to Love whose power is great and vast
and which can rejuvenate and heal in ways that the grail cannot
or is it about the journey , about reaching what one had sought
or is it about fulfilling ones destiny- becoming what one was fated to be
or is it about the confusion of life – about finding a meaning a key,
or is it about himself and what is really dear to him
or is it about the state of the world- is he a servant of its whim

Is he merely responding to his world, to the passing troop of knights,
or is he fighting for what he believes in- for his and others rights
to a life that is fulfilling, that can drink from the grail
that can be productive and happy – like in a fairy tale
that can heal its injuries and drink to the brim
that deserves to be joyous and not some grim
affair that has to be endured or livid with shame
that drinks from the source from which all life came.
He needs to think this through and justify the motive for quest
but his decision has been made- its just a post hoc rationalization at best
and whatever reasons he may give for his impending step,
we would be fools to take it on face value- we need some help
about what he feels as he finally takes that crucial step-
is it elation and joy, or despair and death.

The Fool - VII

2008-07-18T06:52:00.000-07:00

This is a poem spread across multiple pages. Please read in order. Please click on links below to read the earlier passages from the poem.

The Fool - I.
The Fool - II.
The Fool - III.
The Fool - IV.
The Fool - V.
The Fool - VI.

And make bearable the turmoil within,
The unrest, the regrets, the walking thin
Along the edges and never jumping in
Of watching from the sidelines –the unspeakable sin
Of being a spectator while the drama of life unfolds
Of being a creature of circumstance and not a master that holds
His destiny in his hands and is not afraid to create
A life as per his tastes- is not a victim of fate
But alas it’s not easy to rise above one’s lot
It takes courage to tread, where the path is hot
And the price one may pay would be burnt-up feet
But who knows- one may end up flying in a fleet!
When feet get injured, one has to sprout some wings
And when ones lost ones love, one just laughs and sings.

And yet the new life one hopes for one has to carefully carve
Would it be propitious to drink from Grail, while millions starve?
One can shine as a hero through efforts in war
But is the glory worth the bloodshed – is it at par
With the contentment felt on a job well done
The joy of a journey that one has just begun
The pride of knowing that you made the world safe
You made it habitable for the mighty and the waif
You ushered in a peace that is not fragile or frail
That on the mission of peace you did not fail.
Is only a battle filled with gore a claim to fame
Or can with humility and peace one can earn a name
So its not just how high you rise, it’s also about how you rise
Whether you are a saint or a sinner – a Fool or wise.

And whether it was Love that guided you, or a desire to rule,
Whether peace was an end you sought, or it was just a tool
To carve a name for yourself and set it in stone
On the sands of history, and for self get a throne
And without fighting a war become a king at large
A hero, to be held in awe, that could easily take charge,
Of the worlds problems and show the right way
Rule the ‘commons’ by proxy –and if one may so say
Become a sort of god head – all-knowing and wise
And impose ones will on others- so that one may rise
Beyond the curse of commonness- into the Hall of Fame
You never desired for peace, just desired that your name
Be embossed in gold and not be forgotten in time
To this end you worked for peace- and not for reasons sublime.

So peace you might have brought, but was it out of care?
Did it stem from Love, did you ever dare
To move beyond defining peace as an absence of strife
To a state where people are happy and who daily rejoice
Who are living to their fullest- each a hero in himself-
-On a journey that is meaningful and enhances his self
Where the Quest is not for a few but a part and parcel of Life
The Grail is sought by all- but the step is light
And pure - as the peace is a result of Love and Care
Where people help each other and common dreams share
It is that peace – if you can usher- that would soothe your soul
An absence of war – should not be your goal
Just like Love and the Quest, It’s the journey that’s prime
To work for Peace without Love – is a horrendous crime.

The Fool - VI

2008-03-25T06:18:00.000-07:00

This is a poem spread across multiple pages. Please read in order. Please click on links below to read the earlier passages from the poem.

The Fool - I.
The Fool - II.
The Fool - III.
The Fool - IV.
The Fool - V.

For Love is a journey, not unlike the quest,
It’s the in-betweens that matter, in the end you can rest
On your laurels or empty handed, it doesn’t matter a dime
Whether you win or lose- what matters is the grime
You collect while you travel, or whether you came out clean
Whether you were magnanimous in spirit, or were selfish and mean
And for winning took recourse to tricks that were vile
Or whether on your way you spread cheer and smile
For Love is not an object, it’s not a holy grail
That one has to find no matter- without slip or fail
It’s not something to hold, it’s a thing to share
It’s about where you have been and for what you care
It’s not an end in itself it’s a means to an end
the thing that grows more, the more you spend.

The fool has loved a little-and paid the price
Moved away from his past – no surprise
He hopes he will forget - the memories bad,
He doesn’t understand- it’s really sad,
That only memory of Love can guide him through
Without Love by his side, he’ll never make do
In the jungle out there that is waiting for him fast
Where beasts are many – it’s difficult to last
Even for a few days without a friend or guide
What joy are victories without love by his side
It’s a grim world of achievements –if it’s devoid of Love
It’s entirely up to him – whether he be an eagle or dove
But to act like a bird, he has to learn to fly
To be born again, he has to first die.

And rise form his ash like a phoenix does,
Rejuvenate himself – lose the warts and pus
And throw away the older persona that’s not true
For a newer life that is given but to few
A chance to reinvent his raison-de-etre
To find the right path and not to stray
From the journey that was always destined to be
His be-all and end-all – that was meant to be
His grail, and yet he forgot it and by Love got swamped
And in the previous life got eternally damned.
Doomed to fail both in Love and in his Quest
Pushed to oblivion- without life and zest
Just living a zombie life - devoid of qualia
Juts being another guy- inter alia.

That uncommon misery of being a common guy
Can be traded today with an ability to fly
To leap from a cliff and still be safe
To show extreme courage in danger grave
That bravura may suffice to redeem his soul
Even if he couldn’t fly- couldn’t reach his goal
Yet the courage to stir things as they were meant to be
A striving for meaning, a quest to be
Is a solace in itself and can alleviate the gloom
Of being a non-entity – of being still in the womb
And yearning for a birth that will set him free
Remove the chains of Love –fill him with glee
At having found the Grail and then rejoice
Giving birth to himself is his only choice.

One may forever postpone the journey or the quest
Deafen to one’s calling, let the beast within rest
Not lured by the grail or the damsels at stake
No heroic narrative- one can always make
A mediocre name and a life that stinks
That’s normal, boring and free of kinks
But in a haven safe- where one is used to be
No adventures or escapades or falling free
No need for dying, no need to be
No need for a makeover, no need to flee
From one’s past into a future that is uncertain and dark
That pitches the new and old in contrast stark
Just a humdrum existence marked by stasis and calm
Maybe a trace or two of Love-to soothe and balm.

The Fool - V

2008-03-19T22:26:00.000-07:00

This is a poem spread across multiple pages. Please read in order. Please click on links below to read the earlier passages from the poem.

The Fool - I.
The Fool - II.
The Fool - III.
The Fool - IV.

The actual Grail doesn’t matter in end
If one didn’t find one – one can always pretend
That it’s the journey that matters and not the goal
What if one had found the Grail – which then someone stole
Would that make the quest less worthy of a tale?
Or despite the lost Grail one would not fail
To praise the efforts that the fool undertook
Is it really his fault-if someone else took
The prize that was his- but which he failed to secure
Because he didn’t deceive-his heart was pure.
It’s not the prize that matters, its what one has suffered through
It’s just the story one tells- not what’s actually true-
That determines how one is perceived by others and self
One can always make up things– and that does help.

In creating a self-image that is positive and grand
That doesn’t get burdened with a world that’s bland
That needs to be confronted each day anew
Where failures are many and triumphs few.
One should frame a failure as a well-fought fight
Of a tunnel that’s dark-but at the end has light
Of having survived the failure as a triumph in itself
Of having kept one’s soul- of still being oneself-
As an achievement that is better than holding the Grail
One was true to oneself – one did not fail-
And sold to the Devil one’s soul in exchange
In the quest to be a winner – one did not change.
But remained the simpleton one had started with
Neither became a Faustian or a Mephistophelean myth.

It’s the simple nature, of the Fool that’s cute
One likes a hero like him, one wont substitute
A calculating and wicked man for him
Even if he could outsmart and easily win
Our Fool, yet we do not really care about the Grail
We want a simple, moving and honest tale
Not necessarily of victory or treasures to find
But of a hero valiant and also kind
Who loved and lost, yet loved again
Who could endure everything, who found the pain
Not as a curse to be avoided - that others gave
But as a blessing in disguise – that he would crave
To die once more from the hand that he loves
His heart only beats for the one he serves

And if she gives him pain, that is fine with him
What he remembers is Love- not the memories dim
Of the bad times together, of the mutual angst
He has left that beside; he just remembers that dance
Of their souls entwined in a passionate embrace
Of how he was fortunate enough to have the grace
Of Love in his life and how that gives him strength
To not lose faith- to go to any length
To serve the one who loved him so
To spread the love- to never hit low
Even if the love is unrequited or false
He has made a pledge- to not build walls
Around the ones he loves – he’ll set them free
He’ll suffer for himself- if there need be.

Hurt however he may be though,
The Fool wants this to everyone know
That he’ll love again, and this time too blind
He’ll love with his heart, not with his mind
Oh fool, he’ll just get duped again
For all his good – his efforts are vain
The quest for love is not an object to get
It is a journey, an artwork one needs to create
One cannot hope to find the Love outside
For true love one has to look inside
And make one worthy of the bride at large
And fill with sweetness one’s own heart
And love the other as one loves the Grail
And on thoughts of sacrifice not turn pale.

The Fool -IV

2008-03-17T04:55:00.000-07:00

This is a poem spread across multiple pages. Please read in order. please click on links below the read the earlier passages from the poem.

The Fool - I.
The Fool - II.
The Fool - III.

If stories are, what we tell ourselves
It better be of glory - of fighting spells-
Of successfully finding the way out-
Despite heavy odds, how one could surmount
And though the peak was never reached
Yet the courage to strive left everyone pleased
And made one worthy of a tale
Even though the quest is old and stale
Yet courage shown against the odds
Suffices to seal ones fate as gods
It doesn’t matter what ones actual fate
Whether one ends up living or ends up as Late
Or ends up with a mundane life
a 9 to 5 job, a kid, a wife.

Yet a glorious journey, is its own reward
The end doesn’t matter, nor does the start
What matters is the effort and how you fought
Not whether you won, or the battle was lost.
The war is never over, it’s a daily strife
How you cope with it, how you handle life
Distinguishes a hero from a common man
One need not win, one only can
Hope that the battle was worth the cause
Into which one rushed, without a pause
That would have revealed the dilemma inside
Whether one fought for a cause or for one’s own pride
Or whether one fought to stop looking like a fool
And was pushed into something as one lost ones cool.

However one fought, does it matter a dime
The quest and the battles and the courage sublime
Is enough to make one a hero in time
And to not honor them is a horrendous crime
The mercenary who fights for his daily wage
The patriot who fights for his country’s sake
Both are honored while they serve the kingdom
And on death are bestowed with martyrdom
It’s hard to distinguish the causes of ones acts
We lie to ourselves; we put on acts;
And why we did something is a mystery to us
Both good and evils acts can leave us nonplussed
Whether we are masters of our fate or just playing a part
Whether we are in the driver’s seat or driven like a cart?

So it’s futile to pass judgments on the fool
That things would be different if he just kept his cool
And decided not to take the journey first hand-
Was he who did deciding? Or was it a gang
Of fools that made him, who made him plod
And these millions of fools who collectively told
A story to him of the glorious quest
Of what he was missing- and what is at best
A mediocre life that he has to swap with the quest
And give meaning to these teeming fools that pest
And rot within clamoring for meaning and space
Not satisfied with his current life’s humdrum pace-
But urging him to move –even if without an aim
Weaving a story of glory around a useless game.

A game like gambling that is wasteful alike
Whose future is uncertain-whose payoff high
But unlikely to happen and out of reach
Only leading to ruin and to integrity breach
The quest is a gamble that wont likely pay off
The Grail is sought by many – so the cynics scoff
And the chance of a fool to nail the catch
Are extremely small- there is a catch
The millions of fool that make the fool
Have already decided on which narrative to drool
The glory of the journey is enough to push
The thoughts of doom under the bush
The story one will tell is of a battle well fought
And push under the carpet the Grail one sought

The Fool - III

2008-03-14T06:25:00.000-07:00

This is a poem spread across multiple pages. Please read in order.

The Fool - I.
The Fool - II.

The sweet allure of reinventing his self
Giving birth to oneself without much help
Of leaving one’s past behind for good
Not giving back what one’s withstood
But to strive for a world that is right and fair
Where one can dream and one can dare
To constantly renew oneself
And get rid of ill-got pelf
That desire burning strong and wild
Leads him to quests – modest and mild
-and make his life a living hell
Unrequited desires within that quell
And torment him for days at stretch-
Should he move on and miss the catch.

The catch that used to haunt his nights
To strive for which with all his might
He used to labor night and day
Come winter, autmn, spring or may
But now that she is within his beck
He somehow wants to turn the deck
And move ahead with a trip that’s long
Not certain, easy – like a song
But meandering, convoluted and contrived
May lead to grail, may take for ride
And leave him broken and forlorn
With an aching heart, a sticky thorn
Or may just end on a lighter note,
Neither grail, nor damsel , nor a prize of note

But only a weary and dreary end
No good or bad , but mediocre end
A journey without its moments of magic
That was neither glorious, nor eminently tragic
The one that could be easily relegated to past
No sonnets , poems or epics to last
And what’s for more- No damsel back home
One could have had the girl – if one lost the Rome
But only drudgery common and trite
The journey lasting like a rite
A ritual that one had to perform
A bad dream - soon forget its form
Only retain the sense of waste
A journey with such common taste.

Filled with humdrum, daily life
No passions, victories, war or strife
No ‘happily ever afters’ to boot,
No damsel, luring, acting cute-
Overshadowing the goal at large-
No goal at all – nothing real, just farce
A journey without an end in sight-
And yet not filled with tragic might
The normal quest for daily bread
with little glory that could spread.
No traps, or snares or whodunits
No heroic act that one commits
That for the boring quest could make
And afterwards as memories take.

Memories of what one did sacrifice
The courage shown, the battle cries
How valiant one did act on time
Though what one achieved was at best lime
No trophies of war or loots to say
Yet marks on skin that one proudly may
Show to others and which testify
That one did fight-one did not shy
From the battles – but did fight brave
Or make up stories of what one did save
If not an actual damsel in distress,
Yet ones honor and ones grace
Of courage shown and wounds and marks,
Of biting hard – and not just barks.

The Fool -II

2008-03-14T06:20:00.000-07:00

This is a poem spread across multiple pages. Please read in order.

The Fool - I.

For his impending doom may one blame his mom,
Who kept him sheltered, made him prone,
To view the world as a friendly place,
And hid him in an ivory case.
Raised in a forest calm and quiet,
No friends, no enemies whom to fight,
Only animals that were wild and gay,
Were friendly, harmless-but to prey,
No violence senseless or contrived,
No humans ever in his sight,
He set forth in his quest to find,
Were others like his mother kind?
The walk will bring him face to face
With the best and worst of the human race.

He’ll get to see the world is round,
If he keeps in mind this advice sound
That to get somewhere he has to move
His goal is clear, he has to prove
That aimless striving can also serve
To move him along a solid curve
That loops back and will end at start
In the process make him quick and smart
And hone his skills of knowing the world
Whether its flat , angled or slightly curved
And know for sure the men that make it
Their quirks, their flaws and how they fake it
But to know the world and men in kind,
He has to first make up his mind.

Should he just sit and ponder awhile
On the nature of that damsels’ smile
And what it means for him at large
Or should he move ahead and barge
Into the valley that’s sharp and steep
That gives two hoot to thinking deep
And is eager to devour him fast
Into a nothingness that wouldn’t last
As he is torn to a piece of flesh
And schooled adequately for his action rash
Of leaping before looking ahead
And putting himself in the red
And ignoring the one who loved him so
Not holding back- but letting go.

Of memories that could have served him well
And saved him form the impending hell
Of journey aimless and futile
Bereft of virtue or of vile
A striving for ones honors sake
And forgetting love that made it safe
To think about the quest firsthand
But his feet eager to leave the land
Have deafened to the damsels’ cries
Her pleads, her silence, her tender smiles
And jump from place to place to boot
Eager to find the million dolor loot
They want to take him to the grail
Pushing down the thought- what if he fail?

Would the damsel still be waiting for him?
Or would have moved as per her whim
With love that’s lost and memories that fade
A private cocoon- one can’t invade
Her private space once she’s left for good
One has missed the trees and also the wood
For a journey that’s so strewn with chance
Would it work for him – a happenstance?
Where he could find the Holy Grail
Or at least a loved one he could nail
That prize would make the quest worthwhile
And after the event make him smile
And reminisce about for what he stood-
Of what he has lost and what’s now for good

The Fool - I

2008-03-14T06:14:00.000-07:00

Perched aloft a dangerous cliff,
Percival relaxes, holds a stick,
One end of which is bound with stuff,
His mother sent with him, enough,
To last the arduous path he’ll tread,
That wise men in their hearts dread-
A journey without an aim or goal,
A quest that’s fuelled by restless soul,
A dream of tryst with Princess Right,
Of holding something worth to fight,
A break from haven safe and sound,
One foot in air, below no ground,
His eyes are looking straight ahead,
Another step and he’ll be dead.

His step is light, his heart is pure,
A recipe for disaster, sure,
He trusts in goodness of the world,
His face is bright, his hairs are curled,
He thinks his journey would be fun,
An easy walk, no need to run,
No devils lurking in the dark,
No falls, just dropping like a lark,
And songs while rising in the sky,
No need for ground, he’ll learn to fly.
His hopes are high, he’s such a naïve,
He doesn’t know the danger grave
Of having faith in what’s not true,
Of how to fly, he’s got no clue.

He doesn’t even feel the need,
To learn to fly, he doesn’t heed,
The warnings whispered by the winds,
About the cliff, the subtle hints,
The cry of a stone as it falls from high,
Of how that fate for him may lie,
His gaze transfixed by the horizon far,
He feels compelled by his guiding star,
To make a move, towards the place,
Where earth and sky come face to face,
Oh fool! He’ll know that world is round,
If only he could turn around,
He would spare himself a fall that could kill,
And choose a journey down the hill.

The horizon creeping his backside,
Is equally worthy of a ride,
The walk downhill will spare his neck,
His elusive goal within his beck,
He looks determined not to turn,
He has left his past, no heartburn,
No looking behind, no grief at all,
Just forward motion towards his call.
Just what beckons his forward march,
Madness, passion, a damsel dark,
Or lack of worldly wiles and ways,
Or is it just his numbered days.
He needs to fall, then he’ll learn,
That to fly and soar one has to earn,
The goodwill of the winds and wings,
Or the memory of some sweet nothings.

Or the skill to look before you leap,
Of knowing thyself true and deep,
Or a love that’s cherished and is dear,
That makes you put aside your fear,
Of heights and falls and falls and heights,
Of finding you are one of Arthur’s Knights.
Of getting involved in the quest for Grail,
Of not knowing what it means to fail.
But all that lies in future yet,
The fool has still to take that step
That would turn his world upside down,
Either break his muscles or his crown.
And reveal to him what’s in his fate,
An arduous journey or Heaven’s Gate.

The Fool's Quest: About this blog

2008-03-14T04:43:00.000-07:00

This blog will serve as a counterpart to my psychology and neursocience blog The Mouse Trap.

This is supposed to be a literary blog, where I post my sonnets, poems and novellas and every thing else under the sun that can be reasonably associated with literature and can't be posted on my other blog. I have already written a book of sonnets and you can find it here and here.

I'll like to start with an epic-in-making that I am currently writing: It is called The Fool's Journey : or alternately, The Fool's Quest - so you know from where the title of the blog comes.

The Fool's quest is a poem in making and as such I would be adding pages as and when I write them. I request that you read in order and not in reverse order (as is common with blogs- you read the latest posts first) .