tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-63489401521817977332024-03-18T00:19:19.459+05:30The Fool's QuestThe Fool's Quest
- An epic-in-the-makingsandygautamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181208258255926986noreply@blogger.comBlogger286125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6348940152181797733.post-54496763908514514192024-03-18T00:18:00.000+05:302024-03-18T00:18:47.190+05:30Achieving The End Goal<div style="text-align: left;">Keep digging at the tunnel, maybe the treasure's just ahead, </div><div style="text-align: left;">Never entertain the possibility, that it may lead to an end that's dead. </div><div style="text-align: left;">With each stroke of the hammer, the rock is developing cracks,</div><div style="text-align: left;">The log will have to eventually split, never mind the blunt axe.</div><div style="text-align: left;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;">'To repeat the same actions, and expect a different outcome,</div><div style="text-align: left;">Is the definition of insanity', as you reflect, you realize you are dumb. </div><div style="text-align: left;">Dig a tunnel in another direction, or just use a sharpened axe, <br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">By changing your actions, a little or lot, you'll fill your coffers, and sacks. </div><div style="text-align: left;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;">'I'm a loser, I don't deserve treasures', 'getting them is a pain and not worth',</div><div style="text-align: left;">If you are denied treasures for long, such thoughts may readily take birth.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Single loop learning is so passe, examine your beliefs and mindset, </div><div style="text-align: left;">By changing your thoughts, a little or lot, on the road to riches you'll be set. <br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;">Stick to your actions, change strategies and tactics, or even change your mind, </div><div style="text-align: left;">Have you considered that in the first place, you don't need to treasure find. <br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div>sandygautamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181208258255926986noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6348940152181797733.post-85118621735081968992024-03-11T22:35:00.000+05:302024-03-11T22:35:06.876+05:30A Depressed Brain<div style="text-align: left;">Some loss here, some sadness there, some genetic vulnerability, </div><div style="text-align: left;">Some distortions in thinking, some diminished mood regulating ability, <br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Some ongoing stress that leads to, an increase in cortisol, </div><div style="text-align: left;">A deficiency of serotonin and nor-epinephrine, starts taking its toll. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">As the days become months, the brain networks start going awry,</div><div style="text-align: left;">The limbic system comprising of amygdala, kicks-in in its full glory, </div><div style="text-align: left;">The PFC, both ventral and dorsal, gets subdued and becomes hypo-active,</div><div style="text-align: left;">You become lethargic and fatigued, and to the negative you are more attentive. <br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">As the months become years, the brain structure is at stake,</div><div style="text-align: left;">The shortage of BDNF means, it can't new neurons make. </div><div style="text-align: left;">The hippocampus atrophies, neuro-genesis is held at bay,</div><div style="text-align: left;">Only with medication or therapy, can we reverse the damage, pray!</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">My brain may be depressed, my constitution weak, I'm down, but not out,</div><div style="text-align: left;">If you had to endure the things I lived, your brain too would have lost the bout. <br /></div>sandygautamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181208258255926986noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6348940152181797733.post-59799030726312616442024-03-10T17:16:00.000+05:302024-03-10T17:16:36.064+05:30Cultivating Fallow<div style="text-align: left;">Memento Mori, put the day to productive use, </div><div style="text-align: left;">Take the bull by the horns- don't let it pass, or refuse. </div><div style="text-align: left;">The hour that elapses, won't come back again, </div><div style="text-align: left;">You need to write daily, come storm or rain. </div><div style="text-align: left;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;">Premeditatio Malorum, you'll hit a road block, <br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">When the field's not fertile, you'll need to take stock. <br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">The day may get wasted, but you'll emerge recharged, </div><div style="text-align: left;">Rest will give you a momentum, and ahead you would have barged. <br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Amor Fati, just appreciate the downtime, </div><div style="text-align: left;">Bow out gracefully, while you're still in your prime. </div><div style="text-align: left;">Enjoy the sleep, the rest, remain barren and fallow<br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Play with words and phrases, or in nostalgia wallow. </div><div style="text-align: left;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;">Summum Bonum, let the poem ferment, </div><div style="text-align: left;">While the words do all the talking, look at what the pauses meant. <br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div>sandygautamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181208258255926986noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6348940152181797733.post-61742449478276191912024-03-09T01:39:00.002+05:302024-03-09T01:39:25.779+05:30A Proposal (1996 version) <div style="text-align: left;">If roses are red and violets are blue,<br />Then till the end of time I'll love you.<br />But roses are red only in seasons of love,<br />And so my love may end but my promise will stay true.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />They say meeting is joy and parting is pain,<br />The world is round we'll meet again.<br />But meeting & parting after a time leave you the same,<br />And you realize dating & dumping are all in the game.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Surely pearls are precious but diamonds are colossal,<br />If you love me accept my proposal.<br />But pearls and diamonds are all dust to the saint,<br />And your loving me is a fantasy quaint;</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />So forget the proposal that I'll never make you,<br />And come quietly on a blind date with Mr. Rendezvous!</div>sandygautamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181208258255926986noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6348940152181797733.post-47926758793027195562024-03-09T01:13:00.005+05:302024-03-09T01:13:59.522+05:30Epilogue: Words<div style="text-align: left;">Rhyming words and rhythmic beats,<br />like empty stage with crowded seats.<br />Magnifying the vacuum in the crowded space<br />with words struggling hard, but not keeping pace!<br /><br />These words are so disturbing, disgusting and deep<br />like a wife trying to find herself besides a rich man's keep.<br />They no more flow gaily with the ebb of life<br />but demand they be treated as either a whore or a wife.<br /><br />But words and more words, can they suffice?<br />can the stage-actors don a believable guise?<br />Up on a pedestal they amuse and excite<br />with the meaning of death lost in the funeral rite.<br /><br />So off with words and off with prose,<br /> off with Cinderellas and off with rose,<br />If you can't say something -at least be frank;<br /> and on what remains unsaid let your poetry bank!</div>sandygautamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181208258255926986noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6348940152181797733.post-55183306970263859122024-03-09T01:11:00.001+05:302024-03-09T01:11:30.262+05:30Twinkle Twinkle Little Star<div style="text-align: left;"> I<br /><br />With the Sun's angry radiance tormenting my heart,<br /> And I pining for the moment when will shine my star-<br />I died every day amidst hope and fear<br />that come night and you'll be there -but almost that far!<br /><br />I watched whole night your youthful plays <br /> With an intent gaze so that your light may not fade<br />Knowing that despite light years you were close to my heart<br />that your twinkling from a distance was just a big facade.<br /><br />So I proudly, confidently, quite blatantly asked<br /> 'That you forget who you are and come within my reach'<br />To which you graciously replied that you can die for me<br />But to steer from your chartered path would be a cosmic breach.<br /><br />II<br /><br />I injured, baffled, bewildered and lost<br /> for once to you did willingly lie<br />That if you need your heavens to charm the earth<br />I can use my earth to forget the sky!<br /><br />And die you must 'cause I can't bear the pain <br /> of acknowledging the distance between you and me<br />And am constantly burdened by your presence above me<br />so I invoke the promise you made to me---<br /><br />--"If ever you ceased to get light from my eyes<br /> You won't get dwarfed or dimmed in the night<br />But to show that your love for me was true<br />explode like a Nova with all your might!"<br /><br /><br />III <br /><br />For a fortnight I steadfastly adhered to my pledge<br />Burying myself in earth- never glancing towards the sky<br />So imagine my horror when after this momentous ordeal<br />I looked up to find you smiling -in the torturous sky!<br /><br />The agony of realizing that to me you did lie-<br />That even for that moment our Love was not true-<br />you'll shine for someone else- draw light from elsewhere- <br />you wont care a bit if that light makes me blue;<br /><br />Overshadowed the relief -of seeing that you are not dead-<br />my fortnight is over- you are still shining and new-<br />you'll hear my pleas now- accept my worship from afar;<br />But my love had been thwarted - so hatred grew.<br /><br />IV<br /><br />I realize now - you are not a poet like me-<br />Who conveys instantly, what's in his heart-<br />your celestial divinity prevents me from knowing<br />Whether you are intact & strong.. or broken and in part.<br /><br />Even though on that night something might have snapped<br />And you might have been consumed in my fiery hate<br />The light you sent out to shine in this world<br />Will burn for years and conceal your fate.<br /><br />So I'll live every night in pain and doubt<br />not knowing whether I've killed you- and if so at what cost,<br />With the moon's tender radiance piercing my soul<br />And I praying for eternity when will be exorcised my ghost.<br /><br /></div>sandygautamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181208258255926986noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6348940152181797733.post-6901620583338745042024-03-09T01:08:00.001+05:302024-03-09T01:08:02.015+05:30Kashish<div style="text-align: left;">Lucky Guy! He just had an heartbreak; <br /> He's now charged and inspired ! <br />Just look at the pictures that his sonnets paint--<br /> a heart that is broken and tired.<br />What precision, what style, <br /> You can count on this emptiness to make him full !<br />With so many layers and levels of pain, <br /> he can choose at will which sad chords to pull.<br /><br />Poets live for eternity--He's lost his love for life--<br /> at least for a while,<br />You can count on a dying man - for a fancy prose style.<br />So let's live and rejoice in the 'kashish'--<br /> that he so effortlessly spins,<br />He may lose his Love..or life...or hope..<br /> ..but never mind, the poet wins!<br /><br />Of course this world is a market <br /> and the emotions that he's showcasing must be on sale,<br />We appreciate his craft and will offer all we can--<br /> praise, respect and eternal fame.<br />Long Live the Sadness in his Heart ! Long Live the Agony's Cry !<br />Let Music flow from Unhealed Wounds, Let not the Echo's Die.<br /><br />As I cant bring you any happiness-<br /> only the 'kashish' in my poems to you some joy brings;<br />So though I'll be dying with every single line that I write---<br /> I'll make sure that the poet lives . <br /></div>sandygautamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181208258255926986noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6348940152181797733.post-11463499271815030342024-03-09T01:04:00.004+05:302024-03-09T01:04:56.426+05:30Romeo and Juliet<div style="text-align: left;">Hey you Juliet! Do you really think,<br /> that I, the Romeo, will hound you for life;<br />Buck up my friend, don't turn crimson or pink;<br /> for isn't it common knowledge that we cant be Man and Wife.<br />Fuck that Bard -I don't have to live by his art-<br /> I've discovered a voice of my own- after Scene Five, Fourth Part.<br />If my Love for you, left us dead, as in the play,<br /> I'll better be just friends and if I may<br /><br />I'll send the Bard packing fast to his home,<br /> Nero wont play fiddle while it is burning Rome.<br />Of course I said I Love You--in Scene Four, Fifth Act<br /> But cant you pretend you didn't hear it---exhibit some Luck or Tact!<br />For I cant now ask forgiveness <br /> or for this fool another chance<br />This wont go down with the audience<br /> they've just seen my crazy dance<br /><br />So its now up to you--to either move hand-in-glove<br /> or use those hands and gloves to expose my fart<br />to either wriggle under the weight of the play's doomed end<br /> or to be as free as friends...a poem from scratch start.<br />Of that Poem we'll ensure that it is politically correct<br /> there are no allusions to LOVE-either bold or indirect!<br />Fuck the four letter word...lets say F for Friends<br /> Let the Poem Begin where the Sonnet Ends.<br /><br />Behold the art of ambiguity<br /> the brand new 'Romeo and Juliet'<br />A Sonnet that can pose as a Poem<br /> if that's the way you would view it. <br /></div>sandygautamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181208258255926986noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6348940152181797733.post-3143755639925811912024-03-09T01:01:00.004+05:302024-03-09T01:01:41.385+05:30Another Second<div style="text-align: left;"> Sure u tried to soothe the child, <br /> as he goes to bed empty, unfed;<br />and promised him stars and moons to play<br /> and forget his woes in the dreamy bed.<br />'Some day some fairy will come from far',<br /> and his days will be happy and bearable nights,<br />and his fears are false, and his suffering unreal;<br /> for when he'll open his eyes---all will be lights!<br /><br />Sure u did the best u could, <br /> for he was desperate, despairing, destitute and broke,<br />and by showing him how much he could look forward to,<br /> u solved all his miseries in one stroke.<br />'There is a world beyond of beauty and bliss,<br /> of 'happily-ever-afters' and 'joy forever'<br />and the hunger that haunts him in this night<br /> can be cured if he views it as fasting and prayer!<br /><br />Sure u did what was best for both, <br /> for u wanted to live and he was ready to die,<br />and by weaving some tales and raising his hopes, <br /> you brought cheer to his face with a simple lie.<br />'Never mind if it hurts, the night will pass',<br /> for life is beautiful and god is great,<br />and if he's deprived today, he'll soon be a king, <br /> for there's nothing one can do---all is fate!<br /><br />I understand that u couldn't have shortened the night,<br /> or fed him with the 'prasadam' that was sacred and blessed,<br />But maybe u could have stayed by his bedside for a while<br /> and as he took the last breath with love caressed.</div>sandygautamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181208258255926986noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6348940152181797733.post-79540027669029159522024-03-09T00:59:00.003+05:302024-03-09T00:59:09.686+05:30Another First<div style="text-align: left;">Can the goddess be constrained by the priest's choice?<br />and bless the flower he chooses, has she no voice?<br />Can for the sake of prayers, music may lose to noise?<br />and after losing my claims, can I regain my poise?<br /><br />Can the poem rise above his creator's craft?<br />and in the form that emerges, has she some part?<br />Can it lie ignoring truth, for the sake of art?<br />and I still believe in Love, with this pain in my heart?<br /><br />Can the withering of that flower, be attributed to time?<br />when I've lost my love for life, can taking life be a crime?<br />Can that poem's sigh be due to it's increasing length?<br />can after seeing your misery and helplessness, I summon the strength?<br /><br />Can in the season of springs, poems and flowers cry?<br />Can't we redeem our Love, Can't you let me die ?</div>sandygautamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181208258255926986noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6348940152181797733.post-80419052535620081952024-03-09T00:56:00.002+05:302024-03-09T00:56:33.930+05:30Scorpion Eyes<div style="text-align: left;">Rich with the beauty of inner soul,<br />In these eyes I've found all I was looking for<br />Truth, understanding, devotion and love;<br />Oh darling I couldn't have wished for anything more.<br /><br />For eyes may be lovely and eyes may be dark<br />And eyes may be deadly and kill with a dart<br />But only if they are capable of not telling lies<br />Can they come close to thy scorpion eyes.<br /><br />And eyes may be tender and eyes may be tame<br />And eyes may be charming and make your heart lame<br />But only if they are also trusting and frank as thine<br />Can they be worthy of sonnets of mine.<br /><br />Our eyes are so much like the other's,<br /> it's difficult to tell who's who<br />They are receptive, caring, sensitive and true;<br /> constantly saying I Love You. <br /></div>sandygautamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181208258255926986noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6348940152181797733.post-20770466320066899362024-03-09T00:54:00.006+05:302024-03-09T00:54:48.169+05:30Sometimes You'll Sigh<div style="text-align: left;">Sometimes you'll laugh, sometimes you'll smile,<br />She's doing what she wants and getting best out of life;<br />Sometimes you'll brood, sometimes you'll cry,<br />She has left your heart cold with a warm goodbye.<br /><br />What if your love was true, it doesn't mean a thing,<br />Can the romance of passion, tender promises bring!<br />The fault is yours why love with all your heart,</div><div style="text-align: left;">And hope in return that you'll never be apart.<br /><br />If she's gone, what's wrong -- the world is this way,<br />The next love you'll find will be perfect anyway!<br />If she's as hard as a rock, you are a diamond in guise,</div><div style="text-align: left;">And should be hard and cold is your ego's advice.<br /><br />But sometimes you'll sigh, Sometimes you'll die,<br />She is out in the world without your love nearby. <br /></div>sandygautamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181208258255926986noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6348940152181797733.post-6160866904466276192024-03-09T00:52:00.003+05:302024-03-09T00:52:45.326+05:30Second<div style="text-align: left;"> It took me a long time to figure the truth,<br />That the more I say contra the more I love you.<br />And can I forgive me for strangling our love</div><div style="text-align: left;">Which nevertheless survived giving me the vital clue.<br /><br />And the sheer audacity with which I tried<br />To paint your rosy cheeks with sonnets of blue<br />Has been rightly deceived by painting a blackened image<br />That by its stark contrast highlighted your actual hue.<br /><br />And If it hadn't been for me trying to fool my soul,<br />Then who would have worried about the seeds that were sown<br />And now that they have got care and attention plenty<br />They spring out from every crevice of rock that's me.<br /><br />Entangling deeper in the web as I tried to escape<br />I have been forced to see I love you - but alas it's too late!</div>sandygautamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181208258255926986noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6348940152181797733.post-43259990571424084642024-03-09T00:50:00.006+05:302024-03-09T00:50:37.053+05:30First<div style="text-align: left;">Is it me or my heart that writes<br />It bleeds, it hurts, it even bites!<br />Knowing in advance that my love is not true,<br />But in matters of heart there is not much I can do.<br /><br />My heart, so vain, thinks it's different from me;<br />It roams, it flirts, it thinks Love can be!<br />So in search it found refuge in your heart,<br />I just pray it returns if even in part.<br /><br />Do you realize what you have stolen, criminal?<br />It was young, it was fresh, it was even virginal!<br />Would you keep it as I did - lovingly?<br />Or would it be a toy, like yours is to me?<br /><br />Broken, Bruised, Battered or Blue,<br />I want it back, I cannot love you. <br /></div>sandygautamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181208258255926986noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6348940152181797733.post-11722598165158885242024-03-09T00:37:00.002+05:302024-03-09T00:37:34.379+05:30Alone At The Top<div style="text-align: left;">Alone I stand on the sands of time,<br />With footprints mine destined to shine;<br />Yet Lonely, Dejected, Defeated and Blue -<br />Of Victory's friends I had no clue.<br /><br />In time maybe my Will will win,<br />On each step loosing a cherished kin;<br />Estranged and above the world at large<br />Labeled Outsider in this Life's Farce.<br /><br />In the past when I fell there were hands to lift<br />The bitterness of heart made the feet move swift<br />Leaving behind those who helped me impromptu -<br />My Friends, My Dreams, A bit of Me too.<br /><br />An Achiever, A Victor, The Sun rising high<br />My shadow disappearing; No one to hear my sigh! </div><div style="text-align: left;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i>PS: This was written in the days following me getting AIR 98 in JEE '94. (30 yrs back and is my first sonnet as far as I remember!!) </i><br /></div>sandygautamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181208258255926986noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6348940152181797733.post-45045402530724439372024-03-09T00:31:00.005+05:302024-03-09T00:31:44.498+05:30To The Artists And Philosophers<div style="text-align: left;">Do the stories have to be real, are the legends really limp ?<br />Does Art have to discover its youth in the hands of a pimp !<br />Should the arousal of artistic sensibility elevate God and defy men ?<br />Can a murder be justified if its from an artist's pen !<br /><br />Do the Gods have to be created, is there nothing besides the self ?<br />Do we need a Philosopher to tell us that life's all about itself ! <br />Should the search for meanings transcend the search for life ?<br />Can a revelation be worth the cost of breaking an armchair to philosophize !<br /><br />Indeed Poets and Philosophers are a moved and miserable lot<br />Trying to fill with passion what they thought was an empty slot.<br />Looking beyond, looking without, even daring to look within --<br />Their range is bliss and wisdom, their domain -they forget- is the human kin.<br /> <br />All this talk of Art and Philosophy, people don't understand much;<br />You can keep your divine grace, all they pine for is the human touch.</div>sandygautamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181208258255926986noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6348940152181797733.post-69680574351133250452024-03-09T00:28:00.003+05:302024-03-09T00:28:48.066+05:30So Near And Yet So Far<div style="text-align: left;">So near and yet so far,<br />like the burning consumption of a shooting star;<br />dazzled when checkmated with God's game-plan,<br />with the passionate striving countervailing the limited span.<br /><br />So old and yet so new,<br />like the inward contraction of a tender dew;<br />shrunk by the fact that it cannot but Nature breach,<br />with the calm poise justifying the limited reach.<br /><br />So moved and yet so still,<br />like the rhythmic flow of an army drill;<br />engrossed in the act bound by Man's serfdom,<br />with the agile dignity subsiding the limited freedom.<br /><br />So ordinary as to think that to the world I can something give,<br />and yet so strange as to seek reasons- to write, love and live.<br /> </div>sandygautamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181208258255926986noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6348940152181797733.post-54698928824569333742024-03-09T00:26:00.001+05:302024-03-09T00:26:19.366+05:30Touch Me Tender<div style="text-align: left;"> Gautam's forte was Love and Pain,<br /> but this time Buddha smiled again;<br />When a Tibetan monk in Daharamsala said<br /> that to use Lord's name for this was bad.<br />As if Allah could laugh this off !<br /> or a nailed down Christ just shrug and scoff;<br />And sometime, someday by luck or chance <br /> instead of a smile their was a Tandav dance!<br /><br />"The Hindu deities are made of stone<br /> they cant possibly dance" so declared the monk <br />" their left arms carrying flowers don't work --<br /> isn't it logic enough that those armed should be spared.<br />For if one exercises the hands in an unequal way<br /> you have malformed bodies; please no aberrations stray.<br />If the paralysis is over and you can be moved---<br /> Let the flowers move ahead of weapons crude;<br /><br />At least don't malign Buddha, <br /> the apostle of peace<br />Have a bomb for Hindu...<br /> but not for Humanity please! "<br />Behold the Poet of Humanity cursed<br /> in the defense of the unmoved his two penny words <br />" Trampled, buried under heaps of earth <br /> he has still survived without moving first!"<br /><br />That button is no savior <br /> and neither is he a pretender<br />The laughing Buddha hysterically pleads <br /> that if ever you should---touch me tender.</div><div style="text-align: left;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;"><i>PS: written in the immediate aftermath of Indias nuclear testing at pokhran under the leadership of AB Vajpayee. </i><br /></div>sandygautamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181208258255926986noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6348940152181797733.post-60587936572488227662024-03-09T00:21:00.003+05:302024-03-09T00:21:51.635+05:30Fame In The Dock<div style="text-align: left;"> 'An unexamined life is not worth living'--<br />so examine your life in full detail;<br />and if it lacks the depth and breadth you desire<br />and is nowhere near that fairy tale<br /><br />Then pump some flesh of a celebrity fresh<br />and don't die starving off legends stale----<br />--Of people we should be---of people we aren't--<br />--Of people they cant be---of people they are.<br /><br />Where he is HE, and you are also a bit of him;<br />and to sail through the night you have to track the star.<br />'Good Heavens, Don't tell us--We cant believe'<br />that he's not the poster that decorates our walls!<br /><br />He sold himself to you one day-stock, barrel and lock;<br />He was captive before, but now he is free---and the Fame is in the Dock.</div>sandygautamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181208258255926986noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6348940152181797733.post-37503629559443628742024-03-09T00:19:00.002+05:302024-03-09T00:19:16.350+05:30If I Die Tonight<div style="text-align: left;">Let there be no moonlight, nor morning thereafter,</div><div style="text-align: left;">Or dusk or dawn--if I die tonight.<br />Let the forests go burning, let the paths go blind,</div><div style="text-align: left;">Let the journey be abandoned --if I die tonight.<br /><br />Let wars be fought, let blood be sought,</div><div style="text-align: left;">Let suffering be wrought-if I die tonight.<br />Let the poem go unread, let the tears go dry,</div><div style="text-align: left;">Let the fire subside--if I die tonight.<br /><br />Let the promise of angels be sustained by myths</div><div style="text-align: left;">Let them believe in me as I never did,<br />Let them forget themselves, let them look towards the sky,<br />Let it be high and dry---If I die tonight.<br /><br />Let Life not change from what it is now</div><div style="text-align: left;">And let them live that life---if I die tonight.<br /><br /></div>sandygautamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181208258255926986noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6348940152181797733.post-62387944595570470562024-03-09T00:15:00.001+05:302024-03-09T00:15:21.028+05:30Tell Simmi That I loved Her<div style="text-align: left;"> Tell Monu that I'm sorry-<br /> -that I couldn't keep my promise-<br />Gift him a bat when he grows up<br /> and don't tell him about my drudgery.<br />Tell him his grandpa was a fine man<br /> who fought till his dying day<br />Don't let him read my poems<br /> and say whatever you think I should say<br />and tell Simmi that I loved her.<br /><br />Tell Mr. Mukherjee not to get worried--<br />--that treasure-hunt clue has no meaning--<br />He always used to crack so fast,<br />I thought I'd pull a fast one too.<br />Tell him to forget that quarter-<br />-didn't I promise that I'll never return.<br />Tell him that I've won this race too<br />he's still waiting for his turn<br />and tell Simmi that I loved her.<br /><br />Tell my sons not to fight over property<br />I've already spent most of it;<br />of the remaining I've divided equally;<br />amongst grandchildren--I've made a will;<br />Of my debts let them claim responsibility-<br />or let the Government take care of it<br />and tell them about the prime of my life<br />How I never lacked any means<br />Tell them about my reckless donations<br />and tell them that's the way to live-<br />----and this is the way to die<br />and tell Simmi that I'll keep loving her.<br /><br />Tell the world that I died a Poet's death,<br />although I couldn't live one<br />Tell them I loved this poverty and pain<br />in my next life beautiful poems will come.<br />Tell them I voted for the 'fascist' party<br />and haven't ever felt guilty about that;<br />Tell them I wept on the day of the revolution-<br />tell them this is not the first time I would die<br />and tell Simmi I loved her throughout.<br /><br />Tell them I wanted to be a diplomat<br />that I wished for the Govt. of the World<br />Tell Subhash that he's the best friend I've got<br />he took the movement from where I left<br />--and wait--tell my boss from that stupid company-<br />that he shouldn't have said what he said.<br />Tell him that I don't even remember his name-<br />- -Tell him no one remembers his name--<br />while I had worked out miracles when I was his age.<br />Tell him that members of his staff <br />still write to me and send flowers and gifts<br />Tell him that I was sorry<br />but that he was a bigger asshole<br />and tell Simmi that she must have loved me too.<br /><br />Tell Simmi I loved her on her wedding day,<br />and I never hated Sam;<br />Tell her I loved the man she loved,<br />Tell her Sam was my best friend.<br />Tell her I loved till her wedding day<br />and I really tried to forget<br />Tell her I deluded myself well and good<br />and never cared again;<br />But today I miss her much.<br /><br />Tell Simmi I wished she was by my bedside<br />Tell her I had something to say.<br />Tell her I wasn't as weak as she thought<br />and always had the courage to propose again.<br />Tell her I was strong --<br />---at least on my deathbed-<br />-and before death brought me peace and freedom---<br />I did manage to mumble these words,<br />that I love her no more.<br /><br /></div>sandygautamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181208258255926986noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6348940152181797733.post-64915187907440073382024-03-09T00:10:00.005+05:302024-03-09T00:10:58.007+05:30On The Dawn Of The Millennium<div style="text-align: left;">Let's live the way we want to live,<br />and let's change the way we die.<br />Let music flow from unhealed wounds<br />and let wounds be fortified.<br /><br />Let's keep our fingers crossed tonight,<br />and let's hail the victory.<br />Let the bonds of love be forged anew<br />and let every one be free.<br /><br />Let's raise a toast to Y2K,<br />and let's bid 99 goodbye.<br />Let peace be given a chance to fight<br />and let fights be pacified.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Let's change with the times- for better or for worse<br />and let's save the world tonight. <br /></div>sandygautamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181208258255926986noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6348940152181797733.post-51439746763811367032024-03-09T00:07:00.001+05:302024-03-09T00:07:36.278+05:30The Death Of The Unborn<div style="text-align: left;"> Your heart may swell with wonder as you watch<br /> your baby's first step in all it's glamour,<br />Ecstatic you may feel as you read in print <br /> the manuscript that sucked your youthful valor,<br />And your heart may dance as it discovers<br /> that it has started talking to some other kernel;<br />But can it be more joyous than the dawn of the eternal!<br /><br />You may watch with awe and respect when you insist<br /> to prostitute your feelings in your works of art,<br />You may share with wonder the vision offered by the photograph<br /> that you felt was roll's indiscreet exposure in the past,<br />And your special goal that ties you with your love<br /> may appear dignified 'cause for it all soulmates cared;<br />But can anything equal the grace befitting the promiscuity of the unshared.<br /><br />The range of masks that you so easily pull<br /> to camouflage and succeed may make you feel content,<br />A great work of art may feel safe and secure<br /> with it's aura of mystery preventing analysis of authorial intent,<br />And the world of love with which you wrapped yourself <br /> even now though you are naked prevents you from being forlorn;<br />But can it be more comforting than the protection offered by the unworn?<br /><br />The charging of flower from the potential of seed<br /> may keep you spellbound with dazzling ease,<br />The glass which has nothing but a vow not to take<br /> while reflecting your face may forever lock your gaze,<br />And the splendor of horizon with its promise of tryst<br /> may by its magic make you never slow down the road;<br />But is this more fascinating than the beauty of the unbestowed ?<br /><br />The center of worship around which you oscillate <br /> may equally feel the force which makes you circle with sate,<br />The gravity of situation may make you vacillate<br /> as you are gripped by forces that grow stronger as you run from fate,<br />And despite the ionic nature of your twin soul mate<br /> the vibrations may convince you that the bond is covalent and shared;<br />But what can be more real but the silent quivering of the unfelt !<br /><br />You may be drawn to use your oratory to bring down on knees<br /> those who for years have been ruled by the charm of speech,<br />You may feel the pull of powers that you are able to generate<br /> by harnessing natural resources with technical expertise,<br />And you may be tempted to play in Love's seductive arena<br /> knowing that this emotion you have already tamed;<br />But what can be more attractive than the riding of the untamed !<br /><br />As you painstakingly corroborate your aesthetics of life<br /> by elegant physical laws you may feel divine,<br />Your brain and vision may make you capture from crane<br /> how to distinguish the milk from the wine,<br />And the folds of your brain that hide your anger in dark<br /> may nurture it for use-- unfurling as you hit ground;<br />But alas its not half as ingenious as the harness of the unfound !<br /><br />You may feel stressed as its inflicted on you <br /> that alone you have to rise above the highest towers,<br />The rose may feel doomed to be special amongst flowers<br /> and redden as it struggles to live up to its legendary powers,<br />And the non-verbal concepts may die under the weight<br /> of words they chose to wear to verbally break ground;<br />But what can be more demanding than the uniqueness of the uncrowned ?<br /><br />The black spot in moon may catch your eyes as you watch<br /> the vain attempts of moon to hide it by waxing and waning,<br />The naive attempt by Krishna to blame his thefts on moon<br /> may reveal that even great men are not forthcoming about their past,<br />And the burning of Kamdev to ascertain he had risen above sex<br /> may make you realize that even Shiva needed self-deception to move towards the Goal<br />But what can be more revealing than the defense of the unblamed ! </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />You may remember with affection the lacunae of pain<br /> from which your eyes' prowess to measure depths grew,<br />The love of Love that supersedes your love for her<br /> by its ordained agony may make enrich your view,<br />And you may cherish the courage that swept through your being<br /> by the ugliness of fate-wounds that you thereby sealed;<br />But what can be more dear than the aftermaths of the unhealed !<br /><br />The stars may save you in your times of need<br /> only to discover their message you do not heed,<br />The sun may decide to shine with equipoise <br /> unaware of the shadows this inequity would breed<br />And you may cut your heart to pieces as you serve<br /> in the image of God this unworthy lot;<br />But can this be more reckless than the charity of the ungot ?<br /><br />The desire to look tall in your own eyes<br /> may press upon your nerves in morality's disguise,<br />The unselfish servitude that is your goal in life <br /> by its reminders of debt may leave with you no choice,<br />And the promise of the unexpected as you freely wander <br /> may with passion make you renounce all you've got;<br />But what can be more driving than the lure of the unsought ?<br /><br />The ideals you cared for but couldn't inculcate <br /> may peep out now and then from useless archives,<br />You may think you wont forget those tender moments<br /> when it was revealed on you how much you cared for her vibes,<br />And the lone memory of God during those nightmarish days<br /> may surface to welcome hardships whenever they have to be shared;<br />But what can be more spontaneous than the remembrance of the uncared ?<br /><br />The brutal face of truth when dispassionately defrocked<br /> may leave its imprint on your tender soul<br />The glimpse of Love as you kissed her that night<br /> by its lingering moistness may try to cajole,<br />And the jolt of seeing yourself stripped of all covers<br /> may shake your uneven surfaces clean;<br />But what can be more lasting than the memories of the unseen ?</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />The cry of distress may tear through your heart <br /> deafening your ears to sighs of lower bass,<br />The paeans of Nature may coax your wandering soul<br /> giving you an illusion their silence will never pass,<br />But die they must <br /> with each new tune that is sung<br />For what can be truly haunting but the melody of the unsung !<br /><br />You may think that with love you have tamed her deep<br /> and you know her texture as you know your hand,<br />You may feel that the hand that blesses your soul<br /> is as tender and soothing as in the beginning of trail,<br />But each time you reach out with memories of old<br /> your skin will feel cursed<br />For what can be familiar except the surface of the untouched.<br /><br />You may see in toto the shape of your dreams<br /> and know in detail the rough edges with which its armed,<br />The poems you drew with the brush of words<br /> may make you recall the silhouette you originally formed, <br />But each time they feel the gentle push of thought<br /> they will be distanced as their finesse is deformed<br />For what can be immediate but the contours of the unformed .<br /><br />The computers of Sci-fi may trouble your soul<br /> with powers of replication and intelligence galore,<br />The foolhardiness of Man in exploiting Nature<br /> may make you cower with heart that is sore,<br />And your sharp thoughts that dazzle even your vision<br /> may make you desperately seek an escaping slot,<br />But what can be more fearsome than the bravado of the unthought !<br /><br />A word out of tune from the lips that you love<br /> may kill all your zeal and your will to shout,<br />A hymn of praise from the lips that you worship<br /> may luringly drown you as your feet leave the ground,<br />And the thunderous impulses as they do their 'tandav'<br /> may blatantly sever from you the title staid;<br />But what can be more violent than the blunt edge of the unsaid !<br /><br />You may be cut down deep as the country was partitioned<br /> numbed and deafened by freedom struggle's uproar,<br />You may be moved to tears as on my body you watch<br /> the burns that were stamped by Mandal furore,<br />And you may feel my grief as you watch in dismay<br /> the lone scar of war run across my face disarmed;<br />But what could have been more pathetic than the curse of coming unharmed ?<br /><br />The 'kenchuli' that had almost become my part<br /> shed after years of use might have left its scars,<br />The towers of success that I lovingly built<br /> as they fell might have crushed my lucky stars,<br />And the infant wish that couldn't withstand <br /> the test of time might prick like a thorn;<br />But could all this have been more poignant than the death of the unborn ?<br /><br /></div>sandygautamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181208258255926986noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6348940152181797733.post-89301513006073921022024-03-08T23:54:00.002+05:302024-03-08T23:54:41.347+05:30Let's Smile A Little<div style="text-align: left;"> Let's smile a little, let's cry a little,<br />and if life so demands let's die a little.<br />Let's be frank a little, let's play games a little,<br />and if truth so demands let's lie a little.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Let's trust a little, let's be on our toes a little,<br />and if innocence so demands let's be sly a little.<br />Let's be proud a little, let's be servile a little,<br />and if virtue so demands let's be vile a little.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Let's hurt a little, let's heal a little,<br />and if friendship so demands let's say bye a little.<br />Let's tease a little, let's appease a little,<br />and if love so demands let's seduce a little.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Let's be mild a little, let's go wild a little,<br />and if maturity so demands let's be child a little.<br />Let's shatter illusions a little, let's aim for sky a little,<br />and if pragmatism so demands let's dare to fly a little.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Let's make others smile a little, let's make others cry a little,<br />and if conscience so demands let's earn guile a little.</div>sandygautamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181208258255926986noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6348940152181797733.post-22586621628592559562024-03-08T23:51:00.003+05:302024-03-08T23:51:40.718+05:30The Joy Of My Life<div style="text-align: left;"> where is the joy of a sleepless night,<br /> where is the joy of a dreamy day;<br />where is the joy of not minding your intellect,<br /> where is the joy of letting your feelings play !<br /><br />where is the joy of trimming the shrubs,<br /> where is the joy of letting the flowers bloom;<br />where is the joy that's not overtly optimistic,<br /> where is the joy that's devoid of gloom !<br /><br />where is the joy of witnessing miracles,<br /> where is the joy of reality's spell;<br />where is the joy that keeps your eyes leveled,<br /> where is the joy that makes your heart swell !<br /><br />where is the joy of a thousand suns,<br /> where is the joy of a calm and silent night;<br />where is the joy of never knowing what's wrong, <br /> where is the joy of always doing what's right !<br /><br />where is the joy of an empty mind,<br /> where is the joy of a love-filled heart;<br />where is the joy of ordering harvest in the end,<br /> where is the joy of letting the sowing start !<br /><br />where is the joy of a poem unsung,<br /> where is the joy of a song not yet written;<br />where is the joy of always feeling like a loin,<br /> where is the joy of behaving like a kitten !<br /><br />where is the joy of old plans deferred,<br /> where is the joy of new dreams chased;<br />where is the joy of being free and in the World,<br /> where is the joy of being in the Home and caged !<br /><br />where is the joy of shaping your destiny,<br /> where is the joy of listening to what the stars tell;<br />where is the joy of walking The Razor's Edge,<br /> where is the joy of knowing For Whom Tolls The Bell !<br /><br />where is the joy of a pleasure cruise,<br /> where is the joy of a stormy ride;<br />where is the joy of Ekle Chalo Re,<br /> where is the joy of submission to The Guide !<br /><br />where is the joy of drifting in the calm sea,<br /> where is the joy of standing firm in the tide;<br />where is the joy that needs no expression,<br /> where is the joy that is impossible to hide !<br /><br />where is the joy that is rooted in the earth,<br /> where is the joy that is not limited by the skies;<br />where is the joy that values the truth,<br /> where is the joy that has uses for lies !<br /><br />where is the joy that likes to smile,<br /> where is the joy that is eager to cry;<br />where is the joy that with alacrity greets,<br /> where is the joy that's ready to say goodbye !<br /><br />where is the joy that freezes your thoughts,<br /> where is the joy that makes your vision clear;<br />where is the joy that makes you renounce the world,<br /> where is the joy that to you makes everything dear !<br /><br />where is the joy that makes you write prose,<br /> where is the joy that as a writer makes you loathe;<br />where is the joy that plants a seedling,<br /> where is the joy that envisages a forest's growth !<br /><br />where is the joy that knows no bounds,<br /> where is the joy that resides in your heart;<br />where is the joy that is always the whole,<br /> where is the joy that manifests in every part !<br /><br />where is the joy that can boulders lift,<br /> where is the joy that will neither push nor pull;<br />where is the joy that when you share is not halved,<br /> where is the joy that when you own is never full !<br /><br />where is the joy that enlightens the soul,<br /> where is the joy that transforms the world;<br />where is the joy that's embarrassed by eulogies,<br /> where is the joy that welcomes the abuses hurled !<br /><br />where is the joy that radiates harmony in the world,<br /> where is the joy that with an inner beauty glows,<br />where is the joy that reaches out to humanity,<br /> where is the joy that to divinity bows !<br /><br />where is the joy that is devastated by a tremor, <br /> where is the joy that can mountains grind;<br />where is the joy that is strong and pointed,<br /> where is the joy that is considerate and kind !<br /><br />where is the joy that liberates from human bondage,<br /> where is the joy that can hermits bind;<br />where is the joy that can see through appearances,<br /> where is the joy that like love is blind !<br /><br />where is the joy that fills your being,<br /> where is the joy that lightens your heart;<br />where is the joy of executing a perfect end,<br /> where is the joy of in the end daring to start !</div>sandygautamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181208258255926986noreply@blogger.com0